On Diplomacy 🧠

This mini story is stemming from an article I recently read (Linked at the end of this story)

While I agreed with 80% of what the article said which is why I forwarded it to a couple of friends who are looking to make a move but not sure how to, the last 2 paragraphs was ☠️ plain bad advice ☠️

Here’s why:

1.Diplomacy is a devils playground 👿

IMO + experience diplomacy doesn’t help solve the issue at hand, it just prolongs it.

Let’s take a mock example with 2 people. Person 1 is called Zoetrope and Person 2 is called llama. Zoetrope is a person who can only be pacified if he feels that he’s the center of attention for a person/ topic. Llama is a person who’s relatively mellow but yet calculative.

If a situation arises where Zoetrope is clearly being a toxic person and needs to be quietened, Llama would prefer to “solve” the issue by being diplomatic. Neither here or there. When in fact, there is a very clear destination.

Here’s the problem with that: Using diplomacy with a Zoetrope person essentially just makes it worse because in their perspective, they are now being validated and are being assured that their toxic behaviour is okay. Instead of being told that what they’ve done is wrong, they are being told “its not completely okay” and being the person they are, they have reversed it and told themselves that it’s okay to behave like that. Typical zoetrope mentality.

2. Exit

The last part of the article linked above basically states, in no less words, to keep shut of any bad experiences and “be nice”. My question is why? If everybody was to follow that bit of advice, toxic people at workplaces would continue to be that: toxic people at toxic workplaces.

Isn't the role of HR, in some way (TBH I’m not fully well versed in what an HR actually does since the only good experience I’ve had is with my current team culture lead which is a slightly different role), to make sure that the people that are working for a company, happy with their job ? and if there is toxic behaviour prevalent by one person consistently, shouldn’t they play a role by trying to rectify it?

It almost seems like blackmail. Don’t speak out else you might have to pay for it down the line. “Don’t burn any bridges behind you”. Here’s the thing, if the bridge is made of bad wood and faulty, you shouldn’t be wanting to walk it again anyways.

I’m also not propagating going out the door fighting or creating a fuss, however, if given the opportunity for feedback, it would be wiser to speak up than keep quiet. Don’t complain, be constructive. IF the recipients are worth their weight in salt, there will be a change for the better for those coming in later.

Article link